Nobody is getting out of this life unscathed. We are all going to have some bumps, bruises, and scars along the way. That is the natural order of living in a fallen world with the curse of sin. The bible instructs us to confess our sins one to another that we may be healed, but what happens if we disregard this piece of advice?
Take you a couple of good sharp knives and jam them in thighs, now punch out a few windows, and lastly for good measure run a couple of fish hooks through your cheeks. Not those little baby fish hooks either, the big mamma jamma’s. Now I want you to just carry on about your day as usual. Isn’t that what many of us do in life? We suffer all these emotional wounds and then we act as though nothing is wrong. There are a number of reasons for not showing any emotion, but none of them are very good.
Some folks let their pride stop them. If I show any emotions or acknowledge that this situation or person hurt my feelings I’m going to seem weak. In other situations people bottle their emotions up because they are trying to be strong for other family members….wives, children, husbands, siblings, etc., Fear of confrontation can be another reason that people don’t acknowledge their wounds. The reaction of the person doing the wounding is presumed to be worse than the continuing on of the situation.
Are You Wounded?
Regardless of your reason for holding everything inside the result is the same; you are a wounded person. Many of us never learned how to process or deal with these wounds and over time they compact and you are no longer the person you started out. You are something else now. A set of scars with a person underneath.
Everyone uses a different type of coping mechanism to achieve the same end; emotional numbness. The goal is to not feel a particular pain, but in pursuit of that goal you end up not feeling anything. My favorite band the Avett Brothers (thanks Cody Goldsmith) gave the analogy of being like the old tin man. That is about the best I can think of.
Healing in Christ and Community
Nobody gets well on their own. Christ paid a high price for us to live free. To be healed and fully capable of sharing love, of laughing, of weeping with those who weep. I used to think men didn’t cry, and over the years I’ve learned scared men don’t cry. It only makes sense to weep when you are wounded, letting the Lord bubble that poison up and out of you from your core.
I have the honor of having an amazing wife and good men in a small group at church to work through my own pains. I’m not a finished work, but the Lord is giving me back my emotions. Everything is simply deeper in Him and more alive….to put it simply, the mundane in life has suddenly become much more abundant.
I worked through a small group program with some men from my church that helped the process a lot and we had to journal our 10 worst moments in our life and what we felt when we thought about them. That really helped me to get the ball rolling on dealing with some things and maybe it could help you to if you gave it a try.
If anyone reading this ever needs somebody to talk to just leave me a comment and I’ll get back to you.